Long Distance Sucks

Ugh.....this long distance thing is terrible.

Some days I can handle it better than others. I mean, I know that this is the best situation right now for both of us. I would love to be with Mike every moment of every day, but right now, he needs to focus on finishing up his school work. He needs to get himself a job and make some money so that he can come back home when he's done and find somewhere for himself (or both of us) to live. And I need to be at home getting my foot in the door of the teaching world, making an impression on schools so that next year they'll hire me as a full time teacher. I tell myself that we just need to make it until the summer. Then, we'll be together again every day. But secretly I wish a school in ****** would call me and hire me...even if it was just as a teacher's assistant for a year, I'd take the job in a minute to be closer to Mike. But beggers can't be choosers. I have to take what I can get.

Of course, there are other days....like yesterday and today....when I just can't handle this. I am two hundred miles away from the most amazing man on earth. I can't be there for him to help him study like I could last year....I can't be there for him to celebrate a new job with him...I can't be there to fence with him....Take yesterday, I texted him at 3:30 in the afternoon, didn't get a response and then I texted him at 6, and then again at 8, and then again at 8:30. I started to worry when I didn't hear back by 9 so I called him and he didn't answer. I called his roommate who had no idea where he was and I called another friend of his who had no idea where he was. So I texted a friend and asked him to run over and knock on Mike's door to make sure he was okay. If I had been up there too, I could have run over and seen for myself and made sure he was okay. I know it was a little silly to think so, but I was picturing Mike in a ditch somewhere bleeding to death! He just got a new car...a stick shift...that he only sort of knows how to drive. He could have taken it somewhere and then gotten himself into an accident or something like that. I almost called the police to have them go check on him too!! But I mean, anybody would have been worried after not hearing from someone for almost SEVEN hours that they normally hear from within minutes of sending a text. I mean, I know he's taking classes and can't always text right away....but seven hours without hearing from him was a bit uncharacteristic. After all that time and all that worrying, he ended up being okay, just left his phone in the other room while he was playing on XBOX. Such a man. :-P

So yeah....this long distance thing is definitely a bit unnerving at times. I sometimes day dream that he'll find this amazing internship and they'll want him for a year after he graduates. So, when he graduates, I would move up there for the summer and get a summer job and then a job as a teacher and we'd live in his little apartment for a year. Of course, I don't really care where he ends up working....cuz I'd do anything for that little house that I want....it's a dump but it's so cute! We'd have so much fun fixing it up together! Oh my god...I'm such a girl....